The Pit of Neutrality, Phase II

After some time in The Pit of Neutrality, I noticed a small leather-clad boy jumping off a table and trying to apply body glitter to another equally leather-clad boy. Then something strange happened. I didn't care, nor was I concerned with who would win the 'body glitter blitzkrieg'. "Holy Glitter Balls," I whispered to myself (and 7 other old ladies). Was I becoming Neutral!? How was I going to tell my parents? Where was my typical blood lust? I immediately pulled out my trusty tabloid and checked the feuds. Angie vs. Brad, Jon and Kate vs. The Eight, Kevin vs. Bacon? I suddenly lacked an opinion or a side!

I began to search ardently for Deborah, but then I passed by the party snacks. I was effortlessly foiled again. If Deborah wasn't by the Bagel Bites, Cheeseburger Bagel Bites, or the keg, I was in real trouble. How did these sneaky Swiss know my predilection for Bagel Bites over Tostino's Pizza Rolls? (another Swiss favorite) Then down from the cliff, like my panties after a few too many cocktails, came Deborah. "Dat gurrrl always be rappellin' down su'in", I whispered to myself (and those same 7 old ladies).

I immediately began to explain these strange new 'neutral feelings' I was having to her. "Kat", she said, "it's ok to be neutral. Some people are 'neutral by nature' and other people are 'neutral by nurture'." I sighed a great neutral sigh of relief. "You're the bestest Deb," I laughed, as she jammed yet another sausage into my mouth.

Fin, again.

Kathryn

The Pit of Neutrality

The following happened on Sunday June 21st between 8:00pm- 9:00pm EST:

As Deborah and I awoke on a glorious American Father's Day, Deborah ask me if I would like to celebrate something a little more neutral, a little more Swiss. Intrigued I asked, "Deb, what is this new Swiss celebration I know not of?" After rappelling down from the ceiling and rolling three cigarettes with one hand, she replied "Kat, TODAY why it's Who's Your Daddy Day!" Throwing off my onesie, I vertically leaped 9 feet for JOY. "SWEET Eidgenossenschaft", I giggled.

After much fist bumping, Deborah began the festivities with the ceremonial application of body glitter and, of course, the making of Blingees. Once we had our cat suits on, we had a good laugh about me being in a 'Kat suit'. LOL indeed. "So first order of business is to find two octopuses ," Deborah said with a twinkle in her eye. (which later turned out to be body glitter that burned quite badly). "Why do we need octopuses?", I wondered. "You'll see," she exclaimed. I never did.

Finishing up a delicious meal at Friday's, a Swiss Favorite, and some riveting conversation on the Federal Charter of 1291, I began to think that all this rappelling gear was getting quite heavy. Having been voted "most likely to blindly follow a swiss person to her death" in high school, I shook it off and continued on with the celebrations.

I followed Deborah some 17 miles on foot to the great Cliffs of Cambridgeport and made my controlled descent into alcoholism, i mean the crowd. "What is this place?" I asked. "Silly American, it's the legendary and at times riotous 'Pit of Neutrality'", she giggled. "Oh Deborah, " I smiled, as she jammed a sausage into my mouth.

Fin.

Kathryn

Slammin' Party Re-cap

I was going to thank all the people who came out last night, but what I should really be saying is- You're Welcome.

The night started off pretty typically- a round of keg stands to loosen everyone up before moving directly to 'boom boom' shots (illegal in 34 states, who are, what I might add, spitting on the constitution and fun all in one unamerican hock). I digress, anyway after 3 delicious hours of choreographed heaven with moves featuring facial hair, specifically themustache, the birthday girl, collin, of course brought out the 'birthday leather', which goes without saying, for a game of 'how much do you trust me?' Don't worry though, we had fire extinguishers. Whew. The night then moved seamlessly into 'beer hunter'. After the 'youth' had the beers tied on them securely, the games got underway. Unfortunately, the neighbors called the cops complaining of rifle blasts soon after. So the party began to wind down, as people helped wipe up the blood and drunkenly danced and mingled. Anywho, some of those facts may or may not be exaggerated lies. And as a side note, brian, hopefully you got that finger reattached in time.

Cheers,
Kathryn

Manifesto

If we could just all avoid any pix of me dancing, that would be awesome. I can tell by the extensive soreness I felt all week that i attempted some less than lady-like maneuvers as well as a heavy amount of jackassery...Furthermore, I choose to think that I dance like some beyonce shakira hybrid in my head and the last thing I want is a dose of reality washed down with a tall glass of sobriety. I chew two tablets of 'make believe' every morning gets me through the day in my rocketship...to my job on the moon. Which coincidentally, looks like the ICA and Sure, it says ' zyantac' on the box, and helps my heart burn, but let's not throw stones people. And God bless America.

-kathryn